My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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