Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Holy sore nipples Batman
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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