your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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