The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
