First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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