before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
