dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
