Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
