you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
