She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
