OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
