If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
