some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
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