i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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