I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
be right there i have to get my cape
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
