Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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