I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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