rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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