Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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