After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
