Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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