So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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