just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
