How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
