I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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