he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
