my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
