I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
