You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
