So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
