The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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