so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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