Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless