Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
