He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
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After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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