i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
