I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
