Already got asked if we're dating
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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