Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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