You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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