When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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