I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
