I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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