I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
