We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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