so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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