btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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