Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
