She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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