there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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