They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
tell me about the eggs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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