My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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