Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
