u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
