Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
