So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize