doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
