its not stalking. its research.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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