do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
