I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
