Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
