plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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