my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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