no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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