Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
