I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
