who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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