well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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