I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
