I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
