I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize