So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm at about main and main street
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
